VIEWS FROM THE CHAIR
November 2011
Fellow Josephians,
It has been some time since my last address to you. Nearly 18 months, in fact, so it’s flipping well overdue.
Since that time, the club has not been in the best of health with us going down to just one team and suffering a relegation last season. Full credit must go to the boys who have been turning up consistently for the side when results went a bit shit, though a special mention must go to the team captain Phil “The Ponce” Wells who has continued to lead the side despite the difficult circumstances.
Without putting the mockers on it, season 2011/2012 looks a lot more promising from the start the Old Joe’s have had. Phil has a good selection of players to pick from and has ponced in a couple of new faces who have added to what he has already. Goals for are also in good supply and the back four seems a lot more solid.
Despite my last address to you all being a long winded self indulgent blurb about retiring from football, I did put the Turtles on last weekend to turn out against Reigate down at Southbank. Clearly roused by The Ponce’s Churchillesque pre-match oratory, which included the obligatory summary on what the weather was doing, the Old Joe’s ran out comfortable 7-1 winners.
“A Turtle Dove”: McAuliffe put one on each hand in recent game against Reigate
At times some great football was played and we scored a couple of very good goals that wouldn’t have looked out of place at a higher level. From what I witnessed, the team spirit was excellent and the changing room seemed to be a very happy place to be. A bit puzzling though was the fact that 75% of our side seem averse to having a David Gower after the game though I am guessing it’s the threat of a Sportsmans* that is putting them off.
“A David Gower”: 75% of Josephians averse to him for fear of a Sportsmans. Apparently
Encouraging stuff so far then, I will endeavour to update this a lot more frequently than I have done over the past year and a half as that is a piss poor effort on my behalf.
However, before I do sign off, a couple of congratulations are in order, the first one a little belatedly, the second a little prematurely.
Firstly, a big belated congratulations to our very own Adrian “Agey Boy” McCulloch, Honourable Match Secretary of OJFC. To describe Age as an avid Crystal Palace fan would be a bit of an understatement. It would be on a par with saying Colonel Gadaffi “wasn’t incredibly popular with his people”. Just before those very people hunted him down to the sewage pipe he was hiding in and shoved things up his balloon knot.
“A balloon knot, yesterday”.
I can confidently say I don’t know anyone who is as devoted to their chosen team as Age. Last season, Age went to every single Crystal Palace match home and away, friendlies, League and Cup included, and was officially awarded Fan Of The Year by the club for Season 2010/2011.
For this he won a shiny gold mounted bobble hat which he keeps in his Crystal-Palace-wallpaper-decorated-bedroom, right next to his Crystal Palace bedside lamp. Sometimes the light from the lamp bounces off the dazzling gold award and it is so bright Age has to shield his eyes under his Crystal Palace duvet, all the time while wearing his Crystal Palace pyjamas.
Well done again, Age.
Agey Boys Bedroom. The day before yesterday.
Finally, as most of you also are aware, Phil Wells gets married on the 10th December to the lovely Gemma. I am informed Gemma will not be taking the name “Mrs Ponce”. Huge congratulations to them both. Phil is still waiting confirmation from the League that the Old Joe’s fixture can be brought forward to the morning of his big day so he can play before he gets married (only kidding Gemma).
Good luck to both Gemma and Phil.
In the meantime, keep playing the game in the right spirit this club is known for, play hard but fair at all times. Be gracious in defeat and magnanimous in victory.
Best regards,
Macca
* If you don’t know what a Sportsmans is you need to ask me, Nick or Phil in person. I’m not sticking it on here.