Starting 11
Ricky 'One side fits all' Stephenson
Jack 'Drop the shoulder '
Dan '23:59 reply' Frewing
Richard 'Flying kicked' Addae
Donal 'Drinking with the enemy'
Gary 'Trigger' Macalister
Dan 'Face push' Stark
Phil 'Chicken? platter 'Wells
Rory 'Shows a lady a good time' Page
Leon 'Blame the groundsman not the manager' Ashman
Ian 'Hungover & Sh*t' Lewis

Substitutes:
Dave 'Change the game' Carbin
Ryan hair

I imagine there were a few disappointed faces when receiving Phil's early week text confirming the weekend game at Catford.  Not only that if you have not replied by Wednesday you won't get to play, a threat from the gaffer Dan Frewing took right to the wire.

This week saw a number of people missing through injury, work and even a dirty weekend away in Belgium – no clean sheets for Macca this weekend – although nothing new there.

After some deliberation on which pitch to use, either the really cut up flat one or the not quite so bad but bumpy one, Joes picked the bumpy one. Having won on it the previous week    they knew how to play it an were confident.

With a number of the opposition having played for Old Joes, they had clearly picked up some new habits as they conducted a thorough warm up for about 15 minutes.  Not to be intimidated Phil runs though the team and on paper it is looking good.  The ref, all dressed for the beach is ready, Leon wins the toss and it is Grantonians to kick off.

The opposition is on the attack from the off, clearly up for the 3 points.  The first ten minutes sees sustained pressure in Joes half, a couple of professional fouls prevent easy one on ones and Ricky is out quick to make some important saves.  One brave save made by Ricky sees him take a challenge on the wrist and there are early fears he will not be able to continue.  Fortunately he is ok and soon hoofing the ball to Grantonians number 15.

With the opposition dominating the air in their third Joes found it hard to push forward, there are a couple of half chances but nothing to get excited about.  Joes poor performance is  frustrating and the tackles continue to fly in, some of them slightly late.  Conceding a number of dangerous free kicks Ricky is relatively clear at commanding the wall so it does its job on two or three occasions.

Somehow Joes make it till half time with the score at 0-0.  There is a severe talking to all round and everyone is aware if Joes can increase the pressure the win is still possible.              

Once the ref finally comes back Joes kick off.  It seems a spark has been ignited in the team as everyone is working harder and trying to play football and actually get the team in the game.  It is still proving difficult to go round the opposition's 15 who continues to dominate in the air, despite the fact Gary Mac called him a stupid ginger c*nt in the first half.

All the same a couple of good passages of play sees Rory on the end of a pass from Leon and striking from distance he lashes the ball in the bottom corner....1-0 and Joes have the lead.

After this goal it is Grantonians who are now applying all the pressure, the Joes defence does well to cut out a number of attacks in the final third and even in the 18 yard box.  Unfortunately, Joes cannot build on the lead despite a few half chances, but it also seemed like maybe it was not Grantonians day.

During the second half Wells comes off for Ryan who is soon required to defend along with the rest of the team.  As every good manager knows it is a risky maneuverer to change the back four during any game, especially when clutching on to a 1-0 lead.  With this in mind, Dan Frewing comes off for Dave Carbin.

The game continues as before, not enough effort from Joes and no real holding on to the ball.  As Grantonians come forward they break through on goal and make it 1-1. 

As we all know from Dan Frewing the second goal of any game is the most important and this  proved the case.  As Grantonians won another corner the delivery is flicked on and one of the opposition is on to it while Joes are sleeping, Ricky cannot stop it and it is 2-1. 

With only couple of minutes left Joes try and put the effort in to get a late equaliser but it is too little too late and the team get the defeat they probably deserve.

If the team is to win anything performances like that will not be good enough, we only have ourselves to blame but I find it easier to just blame Dave Carbin.

Joes are in the semis!

Single number 2 – A Phil the Ponce number

Asda nights ooooohhhhh

Asda nights
Ain't no doubt we are here till morning
Asda nights
Come on now avoid that verbal warning

Working for the Ponce get down
Phil’s shelves are always the best stacked in town
Got to keep on stacking
Keep on stacking
Got to keep on racking
Keep on racking

Asda nights
Phil the Ponce making everything precise
Asda nights
Come on now, that is Asda price

Dance with the Asda get down

'Cos Asda shelves are the best stacked in town

Team:
Peter MacAuliffe
Phil Wells
Las Oke
Richard
Jack
Dan Frewing
Gary Macalister
Rory Page
Ricky Stephenson
Ian Lewis
Leon Ashman

Substitutes:
Scott Wason
Dave Carbin
Ryan

After a long time off over Christmas and having finally seen off the snow it was time to run off some of the holiday booze and turkey.

The previous encounter with Bromleians was a ten goal romp which the opposition obviously did not enjoy, and Joes were ready to give them a nice new year pasting.

The results from this game would have got good odds at the bookies, - Gary Mac netted two headers and Dan Frewing scored an important second goal. Your stake returned if Rory tries to start a fight.

Rory, Lewi and Ricky also scored with the final score, 6-3.

Macca made a great penalty save and there was really only ten minutes of sustained pressure form the opposition towards the end which made Joes a little nervy but the win was never in real doubt.

A vital three points achieved but still work to do to climb the table.

 

This week sees the first Old Joes single of 2010 – artist - Rory Page.

Now I'm the king of the swingers
Och, the Old Joes UFC
Five foot at the top and I seemed to stop
And that's what botherin' me
I wanna be a hard, mancub
And punch you to the ground,
And be just like the other men
I'm tired of monkeyin' around!

Och, oobee doo
I gonna try and smack you
I gonna swing for you
Square up to you, too
You'll see it's true
A jock like me
Can grow a man beard too

 

 

Team:
Peter ‘This pitch is like playing on a quiche’ MacAuliffe
Crisp Passing Phil Wells
Scott & Spicy Wason
Lasparagus Oke
Flan Frewing
Dan Over Done Stark
Deep Phil Davies
Gary Macalsacelorraine
Rory Page & Onion
Ricky Flannying About Stephenson
Ham & Cheese Lewis

Substitutes:
Kierancetta & Mushroom Marchant   
Donal Rush To Eat It At Once Galligan
DiJohn Chicken Rosenthal

Referee: Cheese & Leonion Ashman & various Thortonians

Following a very convincing 5-0 cup win the week before Joes II’s were back in the league and needing to pick up 3 points.  The last league game saw the team scrape a 3-3 draw with Shene Old Grammarians III so they needed to up their game.

Joes kicked off and it was soon clear that the muddy pitch was going to make it difficult to turn quickly and tricky to judge how hard to hit passes.  Despite the far from ideal conditions there were positive signs early on with Rory taking on defenders and Ricky and Stark creating space to shoot. 

For the first ten minutes most of the play was in Thorntonian’s half except when their big centre back was throwing his sledgehammer foot through their goal kicks.  It was from one of these, misjudged by Joes back four, which fell to the Thortonian forward who nicely lobbed the ball over Macca to make it 1-0.

Joes carried on attacking and soon very good chances fell to Stark, Lewi and Ricky but all three failed to capitalise.  To make matters worse there were some tense moments when Thortonians were awarded a couple of free kicks in good positions but could not make them count either.

It seemed only a matter of time until there was another goal and it came when a great through ball was deftly chipped over the opposition keeper by Ricky…1-1!  Back on level terms Joe’s defence and Macca were now well on top of the Thortonian long ball.

There were a couple of tasty challenges, offsides and dodgy handballs that Leon had to deal with but it was good to see him back on the footy pitch, although certain Thorntians seemed to disagree. 

The continual pressing from Joes saw them win a number of corners and a ball from the right by Rory to the far post found an unmarked Gary Mac who headed home from the side of his face......2-1.

The scoreline remained the same for the rest of the first half despite Joes having numerous chances to increase their lead.

At halftime Leon was given some constructive criticism and told to ref off by a certain Thortonian but Joes were quite happy for them to provide a ref for the second half.  Gaffer Wells pointed out Joes were the better team and just needed to start shooting at the goal rather than over or around it.

Thortonians kicked off the second half and Joes were quick to put them under pressure.  Winning the ball, a forward pass dummied by Rory and left for Lewi to slide in with his first touch of the second half making it 3-1.

More of a cushion seemed to relax Joes and it was not long before Rory gets a great opportunity and smashes Joes fourth….cross bar and in….4-1!

By now Thortonians were getting frustrated with themselves as their long ball attack was not working.  This was highlighted by a rash challenge on Phil Davies which made him loose his topping and left egg on the face of the opposition.  After Phil the Ponce apologies for pushing the Thortonian ref way the game continued.

Now with a taste for goal Rory is on the move again, a quick one two allowed Lewi to whip in a cross which Rory volleys in….5-1!

By now the game was all Joes and Lewi was able to get a second when left unmarked for a corner he gets a touch on Rory’s delivery….6-1.

With the opposition now really just playing for pride most of the Joes are hoping to get on the score sheet.  Also around this time Wells and Gary Mac came off for Donal and Kieran.

At 6-1 Ricky gets a second goal rising to a Dan Stark freekick and heading over the keeper, 7-1. 

Wells has one sub left and really has to chose between Ricky, Lewi and Rory with all three on a hatrick.  When Ricky takes a heavy first touch he is gone and Rosenthal is brought on.

Thortonians do not give up and do create some chances requiring a few good saves from Macca as well as some good defending of corners and freekicks.

Lewi and Rory are both hungry for a hatrick and after a Rory run down the right Lewi is pretty sure the square ball will find him as Rory has an impossible angle….Rory scores….8-1!

With their heads really down and it now apparent that their referee switching strategy has not worked, it is left to Phil Davies to get the next one when a great strike following a poor clearance, takes a small deflection and its in!

It seems at this stage all that is left is for Rosenthal to score.  Finally a forward ball finds John not offside with just the keeper to beat…his first touch is good…he decides to round the keeper and cuts inside….with a seemingly open goal John shoots….somehow a defender is able to head it over and the final whistle goes.

A deserved 3 points.

Nick ' The Juggler' O'Donnell
Scott 'Turn and go' Wason
Dan 'Twisted midget' Frewing
Dave 'Usain Bolt' Carbin
Phil 'Forever young' Wells
Gary 'Stingsar' Macalister
Dan 'Aim for the van' Stark
Sean 'Assist king' Kelly
Rory 'Small Man Syndrome?' Page
Ricky 'Booked' Stephenson
Ian 'Double figures' Lewis

Substitutes
Richard 'Late arrival' Addae
Phil 'Marathon Man' Davies
Donal 'Come on Lionel' Galligan

This week was Joes second cup game against an opposition already beaten once this season.   The team remained largely the same from the previous week, apart from the return of Dave Carbin and Nick stepping up in goal while Macca is on holiday.      

Conditions for the game were good and after a Meadonian finished his medicinal cigarette Joes kicked off. 

On the back of comprehensive victory the week before Joes start was sloppy and the team were clearly under the impression a victory would come easily.  The lazy start was soon punished when a through ball was knocked through to Meadonians quick front man who remained calm and slotted it over the top of O'Donnell....1-0.

Joes are rocked by this early goal but the short pitch meant there is attacking at both ends and Scott has a couple of early efforts saved by Meadonian's keeper.

Unfortunately, it is not long before a Meadonian move similar to the first is not caught by the offside trap and Joes are down by two.  After this goal everyone seemed to realise the game was not going to win itself and upped their effort.  Sean and Scott are soon exploiting the right and whipping crosses in, a great ball to the back post from Scott is brought down by Ricky who has time to get his shot off but the keeper is quick to close him down making a good save.

Another good move saw Meads desperately trying to clear the ball, it falls to Rory's feet, he has plenty of time and with the keeper slightly out of position he tries to place it in. On target but lacking enough power the keeper is back to make a comfortable catch.

As the pressure continues Sean takes on their left back and hits a low ball in to the six yard box, Lewi managed to control the ball, turn and shoot to make it 2-1.

The goal has rattled Meads and Joes continued to press with Gary Mac darting all over the front half the pitch hungry for a Joes second.  He nearly gets it when Scott threads a clever little pass to him after a good run but again the keeper is quickly out to make the save giving a corner.  Scott is up but heads over the bar.

The wait for an equaliser does not last too long when another ball from the right is met by Rory who lashes it in to get things all square at 2-2.

Before half time the game continued with both teams coming close, O'Donnell is out quick to keep it level by making a couple of good saves and some superhero style punches.  The back four had also got their full monty offside line working well.

From another attacking move Joes win a free kick in a good position.  Now with a number of dead ball specialists in the team it is Stark who stepped up for this one.  Shaping up to shoot he gets a bit to beneath it and nearly finds the railway.

HALF TIME

The second half kicked off with no changes but The Ponce indicates there will be changes made shortly.  Carbin is the first to come off being replaced by Richard at the back.

No longer showing signs of complacency more committed challenges are flying in all over.  Some epic battling from Stark in midfield allows the ball to reach Ricky on the left, he gets the ball in to Sean, in a difficult position it looks like there is not much he can do but an athletic overhead ball goes past their last man and the keeper and is put in by Lewi to finally put Joes in front.

Shortly after this, a second change is made when Gary Mac makes room for Northern Phil who  after a couple of weeks off is soon flying in with some tough challenges.

As the game continued Joes produced some nice pass and move football, one passage of play  saw Sean and Ricky link up well.  Sean played the ball to Ricky and while screaming for the return Ricky drops a shoulder and beautifully shakes off his marker........his shot is saved by the keeper....the parry drops to Sean but is too hard to control.......the ball is in the air.......Rory comes steaming in with his head to get is second.....4-2!

Still Meads won't give up and Nick manages a couple of classic moves leaving one near post shot to hit the inside part of the post and roll across the goal face as well doing a good impression of someone juggling the soap with another!

By now it looked like Joes could progress to the next round and they were not finished yet.  Yet again Sean and Scott linking up down the right created space, Sean hits in a fast low cross and Ricky gets on the end of it to make it 5-2!

Still with time left Phil the Ponce comes off for Donal who is soon impressing the commentating referee with his sexy throw in action. 

Having dominated most of the second half it seems the last ten minutes were where Joes started to let Meads back in to the game.  With a couple of free kicks awarded to them Nick has to make some saves to maintain the lead.  Eventually however one Mead attack is not cut out soon enough and they manage to get one back....5-3.

From the restart there does not seem to be enough time for Joes to throw it away but the game has an air of panic and urgency.  This was not helped by a few clumsy Mead challenges including one from their big forward on Rory.  Rory was not to be intimidated and made sure he made his feelings clear to the biggest opposition player.

After some wise words from the sidelines Joes concentrated for the remaining three (ten) minutes and held the lead till the end.

Now in the next round of the cup there was already talk of where the final will be, this is premature but hopefully Joes can progress further!

1-0 Ricky – cool finish round the keeper
2-0 Sean - cross/shot/lob?
3-0 Scott – Long ranger
4-0 Lewi – 2 yard tap in
5-0 Scott – Hard shot, weak keeping

Half time.

6-0 Lewi – Persistent run curled round the keeper
6-1 Unlucky Clingshit
7-1 Ricky – Shot to the far corner
8-1 Lewi – Nearly misses from 3 yards, bar and in
9-1 Stark – Good turn, great strike
10-1 Ricky penalty.  Making scoring a penalty at 9-1 look easy

Rory misses a penalty.

Final whistle.

Nick 'Out of retirement.......again' O'Donnell
Dan 'CHARGE!!!!' Frewing
Tony 'The back pass' Phipps
Phil 'Cross/Shot' Wells
Lee 'Jimmy'
Dan 'Worth every penny I get paid' Stark
Gary 'Fat lip' Mac
Scott 'That's called the sun' Wason
Ricky 'Kicked to shit' Stephenson
Ian 'Feet in your own half' Lewis
John 'Kit man of the match' Rosenthal

Substitutes
Pete 'Seals the win' Jerrari

After a couple of cup games, this week saw Joes back to the league and up against their bogey team John Fisher.

The team line up is decided when Phil eventually knew for sure who was coming and when Phippsy finally found a pair of shorts he could actually run in.

After the warm up Lewi won the toss and gave John Fisher the kick as per the Ponce's instructions.  The Fisher team all looked reasonably young so Joes were not sure what to expect.

Early signs showed that Fisher's keeper was not 100% confident in his ability and nor were his team mates.  Lewi was first to capitalise on this and some miscommunication between the centre back and the keeper saw him steal in and make it 1-0.

Fisher remained in the match and a few crosses in to Joes box required some good clearances and Nick was on hand to stop and spill a few in the slippery conditions.  Joes stayed on top but when starting an attack from the back a slightly under weighted back pass to Nick left  him one on one with the Fisher forward, he connected with the ball first but a deflection left the ball in the path of another Fisher player who made 1-1.

At 1-1 Joes had more chances and even came close to a goal of the season when Scott struck a long range effort that rattled the underside of the cross bar!  Obviously spurred on by the near misses Phil Wells is soon surging forward on the left, he whips in a curling cross to the far post....it flies over most peoples heads, moving away from the keeper it is in the back of the net....2-1. Rosenthal tried to claim he got a touch but we are not fooled.

This second goal seemed to open the flood gates and after one chance is cleared it is chased down by Lewi and then pulled back to Ricky.  Ricky almost has too much time but eventually decided to shoot.....crossbar and in.....nice!
At 3-1 although Fisher were moving the ball well the referee had them frustrated and this was made worse when a persistent run down the right by Rosenthal was squared to Lewi and all he had to do is slot it in to an open net, 4-1.

At 4-1, the fisher keeper does well to keep the lead to three making a double save from Lewi and also managing to stop Lewi, John and Gary Mac from scoring despite all being on the goal line with the ball.  Somehow a shot from two yards hit the post and bounces out, the referee stopped play at this point, presumably to give most players a break from laughing!

By now opposition heads have dropped and they hoping for half time to regroup.  Unluckily for them Scott has other plans and after taking the ball round a couple of Fisher players he struck a hard and low shot.  In the slightly wet conditions the ball bounced and zipped across the six yard box...the keeper cannot stop it, 5-1.

The half time team talk makes it clear that more of the same is needed in the second forty five.  An enthusiastic speech by Phippsy on the opposition's keeper goes to waste when he is replaced......never mind as the weak Fisher left back can be exploited...oh no he has come off too.

As the second half kicks off it becomes apparent that Joes should have chosen to switch ends at the beginning as the sun is now causing Nick problems in goal and also the outfield players problems because of the glare off his head.

Fisher are not dead in the water and it is not too long before they have pulled one back to make it five two.  Joes continue to play but not with the same gusto as the first forty five and are conceding silly free kicks and corners. 

It is a corner which sees Fisher's next breakthrough and a good header from their centre back makes it 5-3.  Shortly after Fisher win a free kick and in all the excitement one of their players is keen to take it quickly blasting it in to one of his players.

Joes are not too worried at this point and a long throw in from the right is flicked on by Gary Mac and volleyed in by Lewi....6-3.

The open play continues and Fisher have brought on a quick and skilled no. 15 on the right, he is soon causing Wells problems and is taking the fight to Joes.

Safely collecting an over hit shot, Nick is on hand to distribute the ball, looking to break quickly he throws it to Lee.  Unfortunately, with the wind in their sails he is closed down very quickly by Fisher and they steal the ball lifting it over Nick....6-4.

They fetch the ball and from the restart Joes tried a long rang effort looking  a bit like they have run out of ideas.  Still no need to panic though with a two goal lead............6-5!

At this point Pete Jerrari has been brought on for Rosenthal and is boosting midfield and soon causing problems to the opposition.

There was still plenty of time for either team to score again and luckily it is Joes who get the break when Lewi puts a ball through to Ricky (making up for a missed opportunity 5 minutes earlier).  His first touch is quite heavy but he sprints on to neatly pass it round the keeper.....
7-5.  After this I am not sure he made it back to Joes half again!  This was a killer blow to some Fisher players who felt all their hard work was for nothing!

The last 5 minutes requires more ugly but effective defending all over the pitch and eventually the ref blew for time and Joes picked up the 3 points.  Get in.

Looking at the league Suttonians seem the team to beat but with some games in hand Joes hope to climb the table over the next few weeks!

Phil 'Welcome Back!' Wells
Shaun The Newbie
Gerry 'Throw the arm in' Foley
Dan 'This does not go to penalties' Frewing
Pete 'A slightly late challenge' Jerrari
Dan 'Going Underground' Stark
Gary 'Team thanks for standing in' Macalister
Ricky 'Is that how it is ref?' Stephenson
Scott 'Needs a job' W
Leon 'Bathed by a man' Ashman
Ian 'Nice Volley' Lewis

Substitutes:

Rory 'Page 'P-A'G-E' Page

Man of the Match: Dan Frewing

This Saturday saw the return of Phil The Ponce as manager meaning for the first time this season everyone was in the right place at the right time.  Arriving at two very nice and well kept pitches most of the players assumed we would be playing on a nearby school field.... they were right.

In the absence of Macca and a retired O'Donnell who was tweddling his thumbs at the O2, The Ponce donned the gloves for his first game back.

Lewi was instructed to win the toss and change ends so Joes were playing uphill for the first half, subsequently he lost the toss and it was Joes to kick off downhill.

It was clear early on that Wilsonians had a big man up front and were looking to pick him out with long balls.  With two tall centre backs Joes and Pete they were certainly well set to deal with this approach.

Joes started well and were making the most of the sloping pitch and a the quick footed Stark, Shaun and Scott were helping move the ball forward.  A break came early on when a deflected clearance fell to Lewi who squared it to Leon.  He ran with the ball and struck a hard shot.....the keeper dived and got his fingers to it but the shot is too fierce and hits the post and in....1-0!

Conceding a goal seemed to inject more life into Wilsonians and they were soon on the attack, linking up a few passes they are soon on the edge of our box.  A cross ball found its way to a Wilsonian forward, as Wells comes out to close him down he deftly lifts the ball over him and in to the back of the net.....1-1 within 3 minutes.

At this point there is definitely a game on, in all the excitement Scott is instructed to shoot from the restart, his effort does not test the keeper but perhaps gives him food for thought.

The game remains open and both teams are awarded free kicks in good positions, however, neither team can capitslise.  As both teams get more and more in to the game the challenges keep flying in, at one point a young player for the opposition takes a swipe at Gary Mac. Luckily he is less Cassisus Clay and more 'floats like a Wadsie and stings like when I pee' and Gary knocks it away.  It seems that Ricky is the only person who has really seen it as the ref was facing the other way and as a result can do nothing.  

The game continues and soon a one two involving Dan Stark allows him to take a fabulous long range effort.  Most people stop and watch the seemingly unstoppable effort but somehow their keeper tips it on to the bar, the rebound bounces kindly to Lewi who slots it in to the open goal...2-1!

At 2-1 Joes looked to build on the lead and certainly not concede again.  Wilsonians win a corner and their tall number 3 breaks free from the back post to head in making 2-2.

The established pattern continues with Joes scoring again from a corner, the delivery is good, knocked on and then volleyed 'a la Crouch' by Lewi....3-2.

This time Joes manage to maintain the lead and it is not long before Leon has a second when he knocks home a parry from the keeper to make it 4-2.  On a hatrick it is unfortunate that Leon is later tackled in the penalty area and twists his knee awkwardly on the hard ground.  This sees him sidelined until half time.

Rory is ready to replace Leon after halftime and is a direct swap up front or the second half.

Despite playing up hill Joes continue to play quite well in the second half and keep the  committed challenges flying in.

Despite good chances falling to Ricky, Scott and Rory it is Wilsonians who get the next goal when a great dead ball delivery is met by the tall number three again making it 4-3.  He even manages to get on the end of another soon after but Phil the Ponce makes a save to maintain Joes lead.  He is also on hand a couple more times to make saves and is brave coming out (in a goalie way not a Phil the Nonce way).

At this point there is a possibility of penalties so Joes need to raise the tempo.  In the end Dan Stark sees the opportunity to seal the win when Wilsonian's keeper is out of position and a looping shot sails over his head and bounces behind the goal line.......5-3.

Joes hold on to the win thanks to the hard working defence, Scott comes close to getting his first this season but does not find the net.

The game finishes 5-3 and Joes II begin their cup run!

26th September 2009 - Old Suttonians VI (H) - X-X - By Peter McAuliffe

19th September 2009 - Old Meadonians VII (A) 5-1 - By Peter McAuliffe

This never used to happen when I had that spell abroad playing for Borussia Dortmund in the mid 90s.

So shambolic was the build up to and start of this first game of the season it must have crossed the minds of some of the players whether it would just be better to turn around and go back home again without bothering to get changed. Being the stoic type of footballers we are, though, none of us would ever dream of such folly. Would we?

Ok so it was Gary Mac’s fault for sending out a text message with the postcode for Old Meadonians which was a mile or three away from where the ground actually was but it was actually quite funny. You can just laugh these things off though, can’t you? Shrug your shoulders and get on with it, eh?

11 of the 12 players managed to do just this and put in a performance, the first 3 minutes aside, they could all be proud of.

It was only Dan Stark who didn’t manage to see the funny side and instead, with his toys scattered somewhere on a road in W4 he’d probably been up and down 12 times, he headed home instead to, I imagine, listen to whale music and do some meditative humming whilst contemplating a career in Anger Management Counselling.

With a few new faces in the side pulled in, it was whilst introductions were still being made between our players that Meadonians scored to put themselves one up. Correction, Phil Davies actually scored an oggie, smashing the ball past me from 6 yards out to take his tally to the season to minus 1.

A start like this could have lead to a deluge, but the 12, erm, sorry, 11 players who were changed and not in South London getting another tattoo done, showed plenty of grit as we then went on to score 5 without reply with goals coming from new boy Richard, Rory Page and a hat trick – yes, you read that right – a hat trick from Leon Ashman. Let me just type that again as it felt weird. A hat trick from Leon Ashman. And again. A hat trick from Leon Ashman. Once more. A hat trick from Leon Ashman. Are you reading this Lewi?

Man of the Match: All the 12 players for showing tremendous attitude in hot and difficult conditions. Sorry, that should say all 11 players as I meant to mention one went home before the game.