Quinlan, absent

With filming extra scenes on the set of Eastenders and training for his upcoming fight against David Haye apparently much more important, Martin Fowler look-a-like and man mountain John Quinland’s absence meant a surprise first team recall for the Club Chairman (that’s me, by the way) between the sticks in a tough away fixture at Shene.

  “Fight against David Haye coming up”

When I was doing my YTS at Sampdoria as understudy to Gianluca Pagliuca in the mid 90s, we never encountered traffic like the Wandsworth one way system (apart from once when roadworks held us up on the way to Udinese) which nearly saw me miss kick off.

 “Chairman’s former colleague, Pagliuca”

I’d drop a bomb on that place if I could. After I’d dropped one on Upton Park, that is.

Kick off saw the Old Jo’s take the game straight to Shene who, after defending gamely for the first 15 minutes, conceded a free kick on the left hand side of the area which Barry Seal floated in towards the far stick. With the Shene keeper coming to catch the cross somewhere around his penalty spot the ball drifted over his cannister and into the top corner. 1-0 to us.

Looking comfortable at this point it was a slight lapse in concentration saw Shene’s first shot of the match almost immediately after loop up and in with our keeper diving in the unlikely event there was a cameraman somewhere in the bushes behind the goal. One apiece.

At the change round, Old Jo’s still looked pretty much on top and playing the better football (as was remarked by the referee after the game) and it was a neat bit of interplay down our right that saw the ball fall to the feet of Compton who twatted the ball in from 20 yards on the Buddy Holly to put us back in the lead.

  “Compton: Buddy Holly”

Shamefully, the lead wasn’t to last as Old Jo’s failed to clear a set piece which saw another looping effort sail over my sizeable head and into the goal to make it Archbishop Desmond.

  Final score: Tutu.

Old Jo’s can consider themselves extremely unlucky not to have nicked it with a decent shout for a penalty turned down, two excellent blocks by their keeper and a goal disallowed for offside meaning points were shared.

Man of the Match: Jimmy Adebowale, sterling defending despite carrying a knock.